epic failure, cont’d…
Posted by: bollywoodbarbie on: January 26, 2010
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damn new year’s resolutions. so yeah, i’ve been Lazy McSloth lately in regards to this blog. bollywood barbie actually went to CPS for neglect, so i thought i’d pull my act together before they took her away from me! for what it’s worth, i’ve had every lame excuse in the book for not writing- primarily that i’ve actually had gigs. for once. i’ve also been super swamped in preparation for a trip to LA to shoot promo images with mike quain, which are now finished and up on my facebook! and for the past couple days i’ve been feeling under the weather. but, thanks to the cracktastic cup of instant rocket fuel, i mean, coffee, that i just made, i’m back on the productivity boat. in addition to my usual stunts i’m working on a new mix for my adoring fans (uhh….yeah…that means you) and prepping sets for the gigs i have this weekend. because i have gigs. this weekend. here are flyers for both:
as far as details about butterfield 8 on thursday: i’m playing the first set, so will probably go on around 9/9:30ish and end around midnightish. i’m spinning whatever i feel like because i’ma-a-diva like that. dj louis xiv is on after me, and i would go to watch him just based on his awesome pseudonym alone. be there or you’re obviously square. and as far as vane: similar situation- playing whatever comes to mind. hopefully it will be that of musical genius. or at least will make people wanna buy stuff. i will not be heartbroken if you don’t come to this one since it’s a store, not a party, but know that i might unfollow you on twitter as a result.
as you may or may not have noticed, we’re having some small issues with our video plug-in for this blog running on djkalkutta.com. for some reason the wordpress site supports video, but not my own website. doesn’t make sense to me either. needless to say, we’re working on it, and until we fix it i will not be posting any more video. my apologies for the silly youtube embedding code jargon that is currently in place of all the videos that should be in my previous blog entries. a worthy replacement for video? these action shots from the skinny!
big thanks to miss marga lane for being my photographer/self esteem team that night! i finally got to check out DJ AK live and in the flesh after i got off the decks and wowwwww! amazing! he’s also spinning at vane this week, so check him out on friday if you can!
today’s hot mess of the day is something that i’m a little late on, but only because i haven’t been blogging. in reality i’ve been keeping up with the news regarding this. the end of the tonight show with conan o’brien. i have an undying love for this man- to me, a better late night host does not exist. never was a huge leno fan, and not just because he’s the same age as my great great great grandaddy. conan remains the only t.v. personality to make me physically LAUGH OUT LOUD on a consistent basis. sober. if it weren’t for ‘the office’ and ’30 rock’ i would have to put nbc on a serious PAUSE. i also get into ‘parks and rec’ because i love aziz ansari (my peoples!!), but it’s not as hardcore as my loyalty to the other 2 shows. i just want to say that i will always be on team coco, and nbc made one of the worst decisions of all time.
abc, however, continues to make the best decisions of all time- like airing the season 6 premiere of lost next tuesday instead of prolonging its debut for obama’s speech! bravo, abc! so, leaving you all on a positive note, i will update again soon. and i really mean soon. as in tomorrow or the next day, not next month.
had to put some people on.
Posted by: bollywoodbarbie on: January 12, 2010
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it’s about that time that i put some people on and give them some shine here on bollywood barbie (which has relocated to djkalkutta.com!) so ladies first:
my friend kyla keeps a blog called ‘dirty pop dreams’ which is basically a fashion and culture blog about whatever she’s into at the moment. she’s a dope singer/songwriter, who also happens to be gorgeous and a sick dancer. you’ll see a dj kalkutta mention in her latest entry since i just accompanied her to a bomb ass burlesque/pole dancing competition at the galapagos art space the night before last. her site is my newest late night procrastination obsession. (proof? i’m sitting here at 4:30 a.m. reading it after a night on the town when i should be knocked out.)
my friend john wellington also keeps a blog called ‘a new york dandy’ which highlights many of the events he organizes and is part of. after painting the town red with him this weekend i realized he rolls with a pretty sexy crowd and you’d really be doing yourself a favor by checking out his blog and trying to make it to some of his events. right now you’ll find some hot pics of dj kalkutta and marga lane with the dandy this weekend- up to our usual shenanigans and busy being luxurious! btw, this man’s style is PRISTINE and you gotta see it to believe it. his logo alone speaks volumes about his personality:
dope, right?! i will be highlighting a couple other blogs this week as well, because it’s time to spread some love around here. and after all, there’s no need to be greedy in the blogosphere- plenty of readers for all! lol!
as for today’s hot mess of the day: new yorkers, i know you feel me on this one- the ridiculous line/hootenanny to get into cafeteria. ANNOUNCEMENT: it’s never gonna be that serious!! it’s a diner, people! yeah, they have the bombdiggity mac ‘n cheese, and yeah there’s an overabundance of sexy people pretty much any time in there, but nobody should have to wait around in sub-zero weather just to grab a bite in this overrated, ultra glorified, late night pit stop. don’t get me wrong, i eat at cafeteria during the day when it’s a little more tame, however, i will never understand the insanity during the wee hours. it’s getting to be that time for a new post-club hot spot, and when i figure out what it is you all will be the first to know!
“this. is. the. reeeeeemix!!!!”
Posted by: bollywoodbarbie on: January 6, 2010
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hello, all. it’s another one of those days where the hot mess of the day is actually the entire topic of today’s entry. it’s something i’ve been noticing more and more in the last 2 years. “remixes” that are actually the SAME. EXACT. TRACK. just with a rap verse added. like, you didn’t even go back in the studio and change a thing. those artists involved may have never even met in person EVER. part of the magic of collaborations of big artists is the feeling that two (plus) musical minds cooked up a masterpiece in a frenzy of creativity together at a studio, which is totally lost in these alleged “remixes.” i’m aware that many original versions of songs were recorded totally separately as well, but that doesn’t bother me as much. i like the idea that people go back in the studio to totally re-work an entire track, from the beat to the lyrics to the artists involved, while the concept stays the same- a true remix. so, i’d like to institute something new for people who want to add a rap verse (or sung verse) to their track and slap the title “remix” on it:
call it version 2.0. “videophone 2.0 (ft. lady gaga)” “departed 2.0 (ft. the game)” “tik tok 2.0 (ft. pitbull)” that works for me. it’s logical. it makes complete sense. and then, when you make an ACTUAL remix, by all means, call it what it is. anyone behind me on this? because what it really is is an UPDATE. it’s the updated version of a track when you don’t change anything. like an update for the iphone.
music people. think on this.
btw, website is more up and starting to not be bootleg. finishing up some content at this very moment, and everything should probably be done by the end of this week. that also means that bollywood barbie will have a new home! will keep you all posted as usual…
tardy for the party.
Posted by: bollywoodbarbie on: January 5, 2010
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ok, so epic failure at keeping my numero uno new year’s resolution- blog more often. my bad. i meant to have a really awesome christmas post and a couple dope new year’s posts, but never got around to it so here you go-
merry christmas! happy new year! if you’re anything like me you’re probably thinking, “thank god, 2009 is over!” sooooo many “best of” lists for ’09 as well as the last decade altogether, that i opted not to bombard the blogosphere with one more. just like jay, i’m on the to the next one…
the highly anticipated (haha) release of my demo mix is hereeeee: DOWNLOAD ME. it’s also streaming on MY WEBSITE, which is still majorly under construction, but feel free to check it out. leave me a comment and let me know what you think!
as for the hot mess of the day, i’ve got another music video. this video came out probably a month or two ago, but i didn’t see it until this past weekend. it’s snoop dogg featuring the-dream, “gangsta luv.” first, check it out:
really?! we’re still doing that? the era of rap videos consisting of a bunch of hoes riding around in a nice car against some green screen scenery of miami or l.a. is over. i hate to quote jay twice in one entry, but “we off that.” and snoop’s been in the game so long- you can’t come out with something more next level? that’s the same shit he’s been doing since the early 90′s. i love snoop, don’t get me wrong. i actually have a whole entry about how he’s the ultimate functional pothead cooking up in my wordpress drafts, but when artists don’t evolve i think it’s such a waste of opportunity and potential. they just look so silly in that car- i mean the-dream is executive vice president of island def jam and this is what he thinks is a good look? i’m sick of the same video concept constantly being recycled, don’t do a video if you’re not going to really be artistic about it. you think you’re so creative? you think you’re an artist? then be one. damn.
hey mrs. carter, tell me where you been…
Posted by: bollywoodbarbie on: December 24, 2009
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well. well. well. looks like someone’s finally jockin’ jay-z’s LAST NAME… you’ve only been married for 2, i mean 3, i mean nobody really knows how many years now and you’re just NOW changing your last name? tardy pass for beyoncé, come to the late office, bey! not sure if you’re aware, but this whole changing your last name thing is commonly done as of, if not before, the actual wedding day. just saying… so why now? it’s not like people don’t already know who you’re married to!!! and it’s not as though you’re married to some loser who still lives in his parents’ basement playing video games all day…we’re talking about JIGGA MAN here!!! i could even see changing it if the guy had a bizarre or hard to pronounce last name like MacGhilleseatheanaich or Wolfeschlegelsteinhausenbergerdorff or Boob (which I found out ranks #64186 in the most common surnames in the U.S. and had 290 occurences in the 2000 census…wtf???). maybe between her father’s paternity suits, and her parents’ highly publicized divorce she’s trying to get some good press in her life. good for you, girl. and she’s apparently slotted to perform at the grammys, so it looks like the well-oiled machine continues to run perfectly, just as planned.
speaking of million dollar making machines, i just saw avatar in 3D with my mom and it was fantastic. please do yourself a favor and go see it. it’s so hard to believe technology has come so far. james cameron and james horner once again prove to be an unstoppable team as the soundtrack is as equally on point as every other aspect of the movie. and just when i thought i couldn’t love zoe saldana any more, she blew me away. make sure you catch it in 3D though!
and now for today’s hot mess of the day: “friends” who never call you back. first of all, being a flakemonster is just not a good look for anyone. second, when you tweet details as minute as what you’re eating for breakfast and when you’re going to sleep, i know you’re on your phone all the time, bitch. really, you have time to tell all of cyber world that you’re wearing a cute outfit, but you can’t find the time to tell give a buzz to someone who is actually (and has been for a long time) there for you. damn. so as 2010 approaches maybe some people might want to take some time and think about who their real friends are, and eliminate all the “friends” that are cluttering the space in your mind that should be reserved for those who truly care. i know that i for one will definitely be doing some mental housecleaning.
well, well. look what i found:
Posted by: bollywoodbarbie on: December 11, 2009
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LMAO- how very relevant. ok, i’m really done bashing ed hardy lovers for now. i by “for now” i mean for the next 24 hours. HMOTD, check.
also, read THIS. 90′s mariah carey fans, unite!
why is there no middle ground when it comes to ed hardy?
Posted by: bollywoodbarbie on: December 10, 2009
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sitting in the miami airport i was inspired to write about this as i slowly realized there are two kinds of people in the world. people who really REALLY love ed hardy, and people who fucking hate that shit. looking around at my rhinestone studded surroundings caused me to wonder- why is it that there is no middle ground when it comes to ed hardy? it’s like gay marriage- you’re either in love with the idea or you can’t stand it. nobody thinks that maybe it’s okay for some gay people to marry each other under certain circumstances some of the time. same goes for ed hardy. you either love to rock that stuff on the the daily or you steer clear of any stores who even carry it. the question is- why can’t anyone be indifferent when it comes to you, christian audigier? i mean, in theory, i should be all about it: i watch the hills (yeah, laugh it up bitches.), i wear product in my hair, i own uggs, i listen to dance remixes of top 40 music, and i think we all know how i feel about glitter. but i just don’t have it in me to drop $165.00 on a paper-thin t-shirt covered tattoo designs meant for an 80′s hairband and rhinestones that look like they’ve been recovered from an elementary school art class. in fact, i felt the same way as these guys:
until i realized that ed hardy makes this awesome remote control pirate ship:
i was hoping maybe one of you, my faithful readers, would have an answer for me. if so, you know what to do- leave me a comment because at this point the floor is yours. of course, all of this inspired me to make my first wordpress poll. i’ve been meaning to insert a poll for awhile, but i really didn’t care what you people think about anything til now so here goes:
oh, and if you don’t know what the hot mess of the day is by now- then you just don’t get it. bye.
“how pissed was he, on a scale of 1 to chris brown?”
Posted by: bollywoodbarbie on: November 30, 2009
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the above quote tops my list of reasons why everyone should watch ‘parks and rec’. also, i think i’m going to have to start saying that, even when it’s totally out of context (kind of like now) just because it’s the best quote ever. especially you ‘office’ watchers- you would be hooked!
now, on to things that are relevant. hope everyone’s thanksgivings were smashing. i know mine was. got to chill at mom’s for a week, no make up, hair all out in thriller-status full throttle, and see the whole family. including the newest addition to our family- oliver:
since he’s the only man of the house, he pretty much runs shit. yup, he’s the king. his throne? the huge dog bed in the middle of the living room.
which forces chloe to sleep here:
lol poor chloe… but he’s just so cute, you can’t be mad at him! see?
it’s been a few days so i’m sure you’re fienin’ for some hot mess, and i’ve got a good one for you today- the new j.lo video!
first of all, courtney love- is that you? second, woman- you have children! you are on full out hooker steez and we just can’t have that. it’s already bad enough that a whole slew of your freaky sex tapes are about to be released next week. you’re gonna have to have the “birds and the bees” talk with your kids at age 3 at this rate. i mean, how else do you plan on explaining this one? so yeah, i’m gonna need you to stop with that. and third- can’t really say i’m in love with the track. or even like it at all for that matter. so this is going to be a problem as you are jennifer lopez and could probably get any songwriter in the world on your album. a crying shame, the whole lot of it.
in extremely important celebrity superstar news, i have a website! djkalkutta.com!! although, don’t look yet- there’s nothing on it! should be an “under construction page” up within the next few days, and the whole operation should be finished in a couple weeks. will definitely keep you all posted- especially since this crafty little wordpress blog will soon be attached to the website and you will be lured/forced into viewing my other media and listening to my mixes. muahahaha! prepare to be brainwashed! just kidding… but seriously, it will be dope. speaking of the which…i’m off to work on a mix to put up…post again soon.
i spin the hudson right round.
Posted by: bollywoodbarbie on: November 25, 2009
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hopefully my mac battery will last long enough to let me write this blog while stuck here at o’hare…when I actually post this I’ll probably be at my mom’s place already, since I’m not down with the whole airport wireless program. question- is it really that serious to withhold having free wireless in airports? it’s 2010, people…really?? i don’t know anybody who pays for boingo or any of the other “hot spot” wireless services accessible in airports, but I would love to know the statistics on that. how many people actually order that stuff?
anywayyyyyy…. spinning at the hudson went really well and will hopefully result in future job opportunities. spun a quick house/deep house/electronic set… a mix of obscure stuff and some stuff most people into those genres would know- goldfrapp, crystal waters, ladytron, daft punk, la roux (my new obsession!!), modjo, ect…definitely got people dancing, finished my set, and let tim martell swoop in and do his thing for the rest of the night. frank came thru to help take some pics, so I’ve gotta give him all the credit for these:
as far as what else popped off this weekend- i watched the life changing exposé that IS ‘food, inc.’ even if you’re a huge fan of fast food (pun intended), this movie will turn you onto a healthier lifestyle. if it doesn’t, then I’m sorry that either A. the point totally went over your head or B. you have no soul. the food production system in this country is corrupt beyond what the average person could only begin to imagine. the major meat distribution companies, like tyson and other comparable giants, are being run by crazed maniacs who could care less who they have to step on to make their money. the whole thing is just a disgusting process. therefore, they are the hot mess of the day. yuck.
well, for now i’m off to bask in my few days off here… will post more soon…
